We’re discussing why I need to hire a tutor for my kids. I told him I need some tasks off my shoulders, specially now that my due date is nearer. I just can’t devote my 100% time teaching them. And he asked, why I need to..
I can’t answer without crying.. so here I am writing why I need to.
I feel kase that when my kids fail, it will come back to me. Every failure will be about me being a bad mother to them. The pressure is there.
Another thing, part of me believes that I could have been a better me if only my mother was there for me all the time. That is why I try all my best to give my kids all that I can provide. I feel the need to give them the best so that they would excel in whatever field they would choose.
I realized right at that moment.. teka, I am not as bad as I thought I was.. teka lang ha.. re align tayo ng paniniwala sa buhay. And I also realized that I had a better life than my husband. Life was not that easy for him them. Living on hand me downs and going to school with damaged shoes (kaya pagdating sa mga anak nya, talagang bigay hilig). And he turned out good! (best for me)
Mukhang tama nga si Daddy.. I need to loosen up. I just need to guide them.. medyo helicopter mom na yata ako with my kids. I just need to be there for them but not be there all the time. This is going to be hard.. but yeah, one of the things that I should instill in them is to be independent.
I just hope I could resist the urge to follow up on their studies when I stopped the tutorials. Haaaay
P.S. I guess that’s one of the usual mistake of moms/parents today no? Mirroring their frustrations on their kids. May mga nanay na pinipilit ang mga anak nila na mag artista dahil pangarap nila sa buhay maging artista. May mga nanay na pinipilit maging honor ang anak kase honor sila nung mga bata sila. May mga nanay na ginagawa ang lahat para sa anak dahil feeling nila napabayaan sila noong bata sila. May mga nanay naman na “pinapabayaan” ang anak nila dahil naging mahigpit ang mga magulang nila sa kanila.
At the end of the day, all moms just want the best for their kids and would do anything in their powers to make it happen… and most of the times, we don’t know when to stop! haha
I’m glad I have my husband who makes things more logical for me.
Mom from Manila says
December 5, 2015 at 11:45 pmit could also be your pregnancy hormones ticking. Pero, ang hirap naman talaga na hindi mag react pag nakikita mo na mas mapapaayos pa sana kung me ginawa ka pa para sa kanila. But, your husband is right, minsan kelangan din ng mga anak natin ng space from us. 🙂
Wena says
December 18, 2015 at 9:40 am” May mga nanay na pinipilit maging honor ang anak kase honor sila nung mga bata sila.” Please allow me to quote this. This so “me” during the early years of schooling of my eldest. However, when she transferred to public school wherein student population is much much bigger than her former school, I realize that kids really have different learning style. That incident serves as the warming sign for me to take it easy when it comes to monitoring her performance in school.
Dati, talagang nagagalit ako pag ayaw mag homework o kaya sobrang baba sa exams. Ngayon, mas malumanay na ako saka ipinapaliwanag ko na dapat mag-aral ng mabuti. Kapag nakakaranas naman ng defeat, like sa contests or di napili para magrepresent sa klase, I always encourage her to do better next time, para mag-qualify kung saang contest ang gusto nyang salihan. Normal kasi sa ating mga mommies ang ma-guilty when our children fails di ba. Feeling natin tayo ang may pagkukulang. Thankful din tayo na nandyan ang husband natin na mas nagpapaintindi ng mga bagay bagay, hehehe.
Mommy Pehpot says
December 18, 2015 at 7:43 pmoo normal talaga na feeling mo ang laki ng pagkukulangmo bilang ina di ba… salamat talaga at may mga katuwang tayo sa pagpapalaki ng anak..
Ishmael F. Ahab says
January 23, 2016 at 6:50 amToo much of everything is bad. Masama na laging sunod nang sunod sa anak. May negative impact yun. It is also bad if you’re always away and not minding them. I believe parenting needs a good balance. I am a paret too although our son is just a baby so I am not yet experiencing what you posted here. I do hope that I don’t become a helicopter dad. 🙂 Well, I will try not to.