One time my second son was asking my permission to let him play his DS lite. Our running policy is I would only let them play at a certain time. It was not their “play time” yet and so I say NO. He says ” Bad Boy Mommy!” and goes on with his tantrums. I was shocked when my first born utter that his brother say Mommy is gay. Mommy is what? Yes you heard it right. Gay. Gay as in bisexual. It was nothing to me because I love gay and I love being one. I may not be biologically gay but I know I am gay. What shocked me is how he came up to that conclusion. So, I inquired, explained to him that Mico (the second son) did not say gay, he said bad boy mommy, not gay. Kayil (first born) replied (in an almost ready to eat me manner), that indeed Mico called me gay.Mico said, bad boy Mommy, when in fact Mommy is a girl! Get it?
After some time, I asked Kayil what gay means. According to him, gay is a mixture of boy and girl. Quite.
Those instances made me think (and think hard) how can I explain what gay is, without giving them the perception that gay is bad (because I know it is not). How can I give them a definition that would explain that beyond the abnormal perception of our society, gay is perfectly normal. How can I tell them about gay without giving too much encouragement to be one. Yes, I know there is nothing wrong with being one but as much as possible I don’t want them to be one. As a mother I cannot face the trials and the hard ships they have toe endure just to prove their worth. I cannot share to them my struggle as a woman. I do not wish for them a life of forever proving yourself.
To end this, I once again asked my first born what gay means and if it is a bad thing. According to him, if you are not gay and somebody told you, you are, it’s a bad thing. Asked what if it’s a gay and somebody told him he is, he says, it’s perfectly fine, he is gay anyway. So I guess I don’t have to worry yet, to them being one is perfectly normal. I hope it stays that way.
