Parenting Archive

It was never my intention to pressure my kids into getting honors, but I guess being on the top is in their blood (err, as much as I want to take the credits, they got it from their dad.. creativity’s my department, not logic teehee). Of course, I want them to have as much high grades as they can get and to let them know their limit and how much they can do. Actually, for the last school years, I have been experimenting with them, there were times that I don’t even help them with their assignments, not that I don’t care but I want to see how much they can do without my help and there are times that I help them and see how much they can improve with my help. Because of my experiments with them, I have learned their limits and how to push them a little more. I also learned how to teach them and help them effectively. As a parent, I think it is always an advantage to observe your child so that you will learn how to address their needs.

This coming school year, let me give you tips on how to help your child with their academics and what you can do to help your child/children improve their grades.

Know your kid’s learning style. There are many different learning styles coming from different models. Fleming’s VAK model suggests that there are 3 styles in learning, namely:

• visual learners 
• auditory learners
• kinesthetic learners 

Visual Learners are those who learns through seeing. Think abut photos, visual aides, diagrams, reading etc. They have a high use for sense of sight.

Auditory Learners are those who prefers hearing or listening a subject matter. They learn through lectures, discussions and those that involves the use of sense of hearing. 

Kinesthetic Learners are those who learn via experience. Information are easily remembered if they got to explore it. Kinesthetic learners uses sense of touch, taste and smell. 

Observe you child and try to know how they remember things easily. Based on my experiences and observations, boys are mostly visual learners or kinesthetic learners and girls are more of auditory learners. So when I teach my boys, I always use visual aides (and my friends knows that!), I take time writing their lessons on cartolinas and taping it on our walls and I also make reviewers with lots of photos.

By knowing how your kid/s learn, you will know how to teach them. Do they need visual aides? or they prefer that you discuss their assignments/ lessons with you?

Establish/develop a study habit. After class, with or without assignments, practice your child to sit and study for at least 30 minutes to an hour until they develop a habit. This will be helpful not only in improving your kid/s school grade but as well as in their future. Developing a study habit for your kid will teach them discipline.

To effectively establish or develop study habit, take into consideration the study place. It has to be without much distraction such as TV or toys. If at first your kid is against the idea or does not show enthusiasm with it, use the reward method.

Challenge your child. Kids are well know for pleasing their parents. Challenge your child /children to do more in school. Talk to them about their academics. Let them know how much you expect from them. Of course, you have to be careful with this so as not to put too much pressure on your child. And yes, reward systems works!

Boost your child’s confidence. Nothing beats the hug and kiss of a mother to boost your child/children confidence. It also helps if you will be careful on criticizing them. Use of words that are degrading should be avoided too, use encouraging words instead. Of course, letting them know that you support them in whatever they do or whatever score they got, is another way to boost their confidence.

This coming school year will be more challenging for me as I will not be only tutoring my 2 school boys, I will also be homeschooling my 2 toddlers. I have tried homeschooling with my first born but patience gets in the way.. this school year, I am ready to face this challenge and you will expect to hear more school related and home schooling related articles.

One minute they’re fine, the next thing you knew, all eyes are on you and you’re about to cry from embarrassment.

Oh Noes!

TANTRUMS!

Don’t we all have that moment of embarrassment? toddlers are so hard to handle no?

I do too.. but in a way I am lucky that with my four kids, I only had one moment of toddler’s tantrums in public. Thanks to my princess for letting mommy experience it. We were having dinner at Mann Hann in Megamall when she screamed because she wants to eat on her own, though she did not threw a fit (like roll on the floor with matching kicking), she clearly made it known what she wants. If I am not mistaken, I just divert her attention to something else, which made her stop. Can it be considered as tantrums?

Thinking about it, why my kids never had tantrums in public, I guess my parenting method with them is effective. As early as they can understand a thing, I made it known to them that crying is not the way to get what they want. They need to reason out and work for it. They need to convince me why I should give in to their wants. So my kids learned how to bargain. Another thing, whenever we go out, we always have a run down of what we’re going to do and what we are going to buy as well as what they are not allowed to buy.

It’s not the case for every child right? Tantrums is not something that we can easily control, specially that tantrums is a surge of emotions that comes from frustration. Tantrums is also not easy for the toddler as it also terrifies them, the sudden emotion is not that easy to handle.

In handling tantrums, it is best to avoid it from happening. Know your kid’s limit and how they react on things. If you must force a rule or stop them from doing things they love, do it tactfully. As I always say to my younger sister, in handling kids, you should know how to dance with them. Say for example, your kid would want to eat on her own but you know that would not be possible, because she’s not yet ready to eat by herself. You can try giving her, her own plates and set of utensils and food but you will be the one to put the food on the spoon and play train or air plane to put it on her mouth. You will make it appear that she’s eating by herself but in reality, you’re still the one feeding her.

Saying No to your kids is a NO NO. Again, if you must, do it tactfully. Tactics. that would be your best ally. Take for example when they ask you something, and you will only allow them after a few hours, don not say NO, simply said YES and add later.

Pay attention to your kid’s need. I learned that in a hard way. Though my kids never threw tantrums in public, they still do inside our house. And I learned that as soon as I give what they want or what they ask for, the less they throw a fit. We, moms, have to tendency to brush off them specially when we are busy. Like when they would ask us to get something they can’t reach, we tend not to do it ASAP and it becomes a frustration to them, which ends with a tantrum.

When in public place, here are some effective strategy to avoid tantrums:

Give them the power to choose. Say, you are going out for a grocery trip, let them have the power to choose what they want, like what shirt would they wear today, is it the blue one or the green one? It will make them feel that you are not forcing anything to them, thus makes them feel relaxed.

Give them something to do. Grocery time is very tantrums prone, as it is one of most tedious thing parent would do with their kids. If you are inside a grocery, give them a task, like bringing the bread to the basket or the cereals.

Don’t starve your kid! Make sure that before you go out, your kid is full or that you have something that e can munch on. As an adult, you should know better, and even you can attest that getting hungry is like getting angry.

Bring something that will make your kids busy, a toy or a book. This will very helpful, specially if you’ll be spending long hours on public places.

Attend to their needs. If  they ask something, answer it the first time they ask. If they want something, and it’s now allowed, talk to them nicely, Give them attention as ignoring them will lead to frustration.

And when the kid is already throwing a fit, here are some effective strategy to deal with tantrums:

Do not give in to your child’s demand. Always remember that your kid is wiser than you think. If you give in to what they are asking, it will give them the idea that they can get away with tantrums.

Keep calm and do no react. As frustrating it is or embarrassing, just do not react. We parents should be in control of our emotions.   And though it’s very tempting to scream or tell them to stop, just don’t. Kids threw tantrums to get parents’ attention and when you don’t give them that, they will stop when they realized crying is not effective.

If tantrums persist and you think you it’s getting hard to manage it, take your kid away from people, go to your car or outside the store. It will help them clam down if there’s not much people watching and it will help you too to calm down.

Smile during the episode and laugh after. Tantrums is normal, just like us adults who gets angry from time to time, the only difference is, the kids cannot control their emotion, so there is no reason to get mad, just laugh it off.

Hugh you kid after the episode. Tantrum is very scary for the kid too as they do not have control of their emotion. Give them support by hugging them.

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Tantrums is a phase that your kid will get over, even sooner than you think, we parents should be the first one to understand our kids. And if you think, you kid is a tantrum magnet, do no take it personally, not just because your kid threw a tantrum, it makes you a bad parent. Learn about your kids and learn to know why.