It was not hard for me, being a stay at home mom. This has been my dream ever since, remember my flashback photo? It feels like I was destined to be a full time mom. That’s not always the case though. There was a time when I feel like motherhood is my scape goat. To put it simply, I was insecure. I was depressed with what I am. I thought, I chose to be a mom because that’s the easiest thing to do. You don’t require high grades to be good at it. You don’t need a diploma to be qualified as one. It was depressing thinking about it. As if adding insult to injury, lack of social interaction made it worse.
Are you a stay at home mom like me? Here are some of the reason why I was insecure before and tell me if you have been to this phase too:
Lack of social interaction makes me feel like I do not belong. There was a time that talking becomes really hard for me. It feels like I could not express myself that much and ideas are not flowing anymore. In other words, my brain was not functioning to think.
Being a stay at home mom prevents me from going outside thus I don’t dress that much. I don’t shop because I thought there is no use to it. How can I buy a nice shoes or a cool bag if in fact the farthest I was away from the house is 2 meters (and that is to hang wet clothes).
The job is tiring and frustrating. This is the hardest of it all. Here I am, thinking, momhood is the only career I have and I am failing. There are really times that I can’t do anything about the kids. I can’t soothe them, I can’t be there for them and the idea of me being their mom and yet I can’t do anything is a killer.
Of course all of this are way behind me now. I’m done with this phase and I can say that I passed it with flying colors. Now, I know that this job is the hardest, most fulfilling and highest paid (hey, smiles and I love yous are the most precious thing) job in the world. I am very proud to say that I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM. I learned that a successful mom is all about FUN. And how to keep that fun inside the house? We’ll talk about that later 🙂
