Parenting Tip on Handling Failure, Honors and Graduation

It was deliberation day last Monday.. time for us to know how well our kids did this school year. Honestly, I am quite nervous that day, psyching myself not to get too excited about it. The reason why, it would be the first time that my second is included on “the list”. So I am  really looking forward to that day and trying hard to fight my tears, oh boy, I super duper proud of my second born son (same goes for my first born of course).

On that day, as students were called, I can some moms showed their disappointment towards their kid’s  ranking. I, on the other hand, is super happy with the achievement of my boys. I was expecting them to rank somewhere between 6-10 and not expecting any higher. But guess what? both was ranked as top 4 or both got second honorable mention. That’s quite a surprise and I almost cry.

Days before the deliberation, we promised the kids we will treat them in an out of town trip if at least one of them will rank 1-5 and a dinner at their favorite restaurant if 6-10. But I don’t want them to be disappointed so we just told them that whatever they rank, we will still have an out of town trip (Nueva Ecija here we come!)

We never give toys as a reward, most of the time it’s a dinner (sometimes with a cake for everyone or Cake Pops for all the kids) or an out of town trip. It’s how it works for us and it does not encourage siblings jealousy among the kids. I believe that giving a toy as a reward for having a good grade will not encourage the other one to strive harder. It will just bring rivalry in the house, something that we never want to happen.

Now, when I think of it, if I was on the position of the moms who got disappointed with their kid’s ranking, how will I handle it?

• Control your emotion. It maybe very disappointing but as a parent, we need to control our emotions and never let our kids see that disappointment. I have learned in my years of being a mommy, that kids will always please their parents before anything else. In cases like this, showing them your disappointment will give them a heart ache. Give your child a moral boost by being happy of what they achieved and congratulate them as if they got all the medals the school can give.
• Treating the kids whatever they rank also shows your support to them. If you think they were also expecting a higher rank and they got a lower one, celebrate it. Celebrate the fact that they still made it to the top.

My second born will also be graduating from being a pre-schooler. I know he’s quite excited because he will be transferring from the “big school” or the real school or to them kuya’s school. I know too, that deep inside him, he was afraid or that it not sinking to him yet that they will have to stay longer on the school and will have more subjects. This summer, aside from preparing them (second born and nephew) emotionally, we will also be preparing them academically starting with reading. In fact we are planning to make a mini library for their reading needs.

Tomorrow will be their Graduation day (or moving up ceremony.. changes due to k-12..more on that later) and Kuya’s recognition day and the start of a fruitful summer..

so how about you mommies, do you have a graduation/recognition related tip to tell? please share it with us!

*the photo was from 2010.. when kuya graduated from Pre school 🙂