Parenting Archive

My thoughts on parenthood, and what it's like to be a mom in the Philippines.

How To Stop or How To Manage Siblings Fight/ Bickering

I hate when they bicker. It makes me insane, specially when I needed to write something and all I can hear is their fight. Sometimes I want them both out of the house but of course I cannot do that. So instead of writng, I end up researching on How To Stop or How To Manage Siblings Fight/ Bickering.

Below is some advice that I got from HERE

When your kids start arguing or bickering, tell them “Either you guys work this out, or I will.”
They will, of course, keep bickering at which point you step in and say “Looks like you weren’t able to work this out on your own, so I will. Go to your rooms and don’t come out until you can play or interact nicely with each other.” Make sure you tell them to stomp their feet as hard as they can and slam their doors loudly on the way (they HATE doing what we ask of them…my kids go quiet as church mice to their rooms. They aren’t going to give me the satisfaction of slamming their door!).
If and when they come out, DO NOT DISCUSS THE MATTER FURTHER! The consequence is having to go to their room. If they get involved in reading or playing in their rooms, yipee! You don’t have to listen to any more arguing! By allowing them to come out when they can play nicely or talk nicely to each other, you are giving them complete control as to how long they remain in their rooms. I don’t know about you, but I don’t care if they are there three seconds or three minutes as long as the fighting stops.
If the fighting resumes, back to their rooms and so on.
If they are fighting over a toy, the tv or the computer, solve the problem by taking away the desire object. That way they learn that they both lose when they don’t work it out on their own.
Keep your cool! When you have to step in, keep your cool. When we get angry, they start focusing their anger on us instead of thinking about the poor choice they have made.
Be consistent in using this technique.
Mean what you say and say what you mean. Your kids have to know that without question you will follow through with the consequence EACH AND EVERY TIME. If there is any wiggle room, the likelihood of success on your part is minimal.

I wish I can follow all these steps. How about you guys? Do you have suggestions on how to effectively manage siblings fight?

Dealing With Siblings Fight

Now that the kids are getting older, there are more fights than ever. The two older boys favorite game is bickering at each other. It is very painful to see them hurt each other over a single mushroom. Mushroom? Yes, they fight when the other one has more lives than the other. Oh, I am talking about Mario again. If only there’s a software on child rearing like that of project management software, life can be easier. But I don’t there would be any. The behavior of a kid is very complex. And for sure, if anyone would program a software for that, it would take years to even learn the logic, and that is for one condition only.

It was really hard dealing with them when they fight. And sometimes when I scold them, the helpers butt in telling me who is at fault. It was harder because of that. Good thing that my helper can easily understood what I tell them. I told her that she should not tell me who is at fault because I want my kids to be the one to tell me. I want them to learn how to accept their fault and learn how to admit it.

Back to Mario, oh wait, it’s not actually Mario but Naruto..now, even if I want to help them with it, I know nothing about Naruto.

Graduation Practice

And before I go to Kayil’s graduation rehearsal, let me just post a bit about my anxieties. Last night and until today, hubby and I were debating on who will accompany our boy during the awarding ceremony. He got a medal and as so you know a parent or a guardian should put the medal to the kid. I can’t do that. For sure, my heart will beat as fast as velo-electrique (that’s electric bicycle for you) and I will have a hard time breathing. I am super excited, really. This is my first time ever. As a child I never experienced that as I was never recognized (LOL)

I know all of you want to congratulate him and some may even want to send some gifts for him. Anybody want our domiciliation (address)? I am really proud of my boy but not overly proud that I would plaster my blog with his medal. I am not that kind of person, I am actually shy. Most of the time I would rather sit on fauteuil louis 16 than socialize For sure later, I would just on the chair while watching them practice their graduation march, song and anything about their graduation. Oh, graduation will be tomorrow at 2PM, so yeah, I will be offline then.