I just want to share with you, elaborately, my feelings during my ultrasound. This is the first time that I will have an ultrasound at four months. And the first time that I want to know badly what the baby’s sex is. This will be my last pregnancy and I can’t just hope for 7 months and be disappointed in 5 or 10 minutes. Deep within me I was really hoping for a baby girl. In my head, it’s a boy. My mind is telling me that scientifically we can’t have a girl.

Lot of factors contributes for me to think that it was a boy. The first, being my husband’s semen is acidic. I have read from somewhere that for you to have a baby girl, the vagina of the mommy should have an acidic ph level. The explanation behind this is that, the sperm cell carrying the y chromosomes (that says the baby is a boy) can be killed easily. The y sperm is actually the weaker one, although it swims faster, its life span is shorter than the x sperm (which says the baby is a she). And since my hubby’s semen is acidic and as you can see we already have three boys, it is safe to assume that it won’t be effective to us. The chances of us having a baby girl through this are very slim.

Then there’s another way where it takes advantage, again, of the fact that the y sperm cell has shorter life span. They say that you should do it, days before ovulation, and so the time that the egg cell is released from the ovary, the only surviving sperm is the one carrying the x chromosome. Uh, not again, as I remembered it correctly and based on what I felt during the intercourse, I am ovulating right at that moment.

And so as I browse around Megamall, looking for a cheaper place to have an ultrasound, my mind and heart was in war. I knew about In My Womb but thought it was too expensive, but ended up there, well I have no choice. After some minutes of waiting for the OB, they finally led me to a small room. Lay down and was asked to show my stretch mark filled tummy. A good twenty minutes is all it takes and I am in heaven. During the time that the OB was explaining and checking the baby, counting the fingers, heart rate, diameter etc, the more important things, my mind is winning (it says it’s a boy dammit! Stop hoping!). And so when she finally says let’s take a look on the sex and we can’t find any balls, I was ecstatic, I was happy; I was everything words cannot explain. It was more than having a Page Rank of 10, more than having an Alexa ranking of 1, it was more than having 100 comments a day. The feeling was more than I could imagine, more that I have ever felt in my whole life. Oh shit just right now while writing this, I am crying. I cried a little, was embarrassed to do a cry a river scene there. I kept my composure but my whole body is aching, there is so much happiness in me that I need to let out. As soon as I got the results I went to the nearest bathroom and poured my emotions there. I guess I convinced myself too much that it was a boy. I really did not expect it to be a girl. I know now how it feels when you want something so bad but gave up on it already.

And so from then on, our excitement for our Sati hasn’t died down..