Parenting Archive

My thoughts on parenthood, and what it's like to be a mom in the Philippines.

How To Handle Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry is very normal. My kids fight more than ten times a day. And yet they also cuddle more than ten times a day. One minute, they are best of friends, the other minute they are enemies. Sometimes a simple play pretend will turn our house into a World War zone. The reasons why they fight are very simple. They fight because of toys, on who is to become who. They fight because someone teases the other. They fight on to who is gonna use the computer first. I am beginning to think that even fight on who can annoy me first. That is really annoying and frustrating to watch. My head seems to blow when I hear them fight or argue over simple things.

It is hard to avoid this situation. Kids are kids, and they can always find a reason to fight. Now, what I do when their fighting escalates? At first, I ignore them, but when it seems that the other one is already harming the other, I step in. I talk to them (OK sometimes scream) to let go of each other and separate. When they see me like I am as raging as a bull, they stopped and started saying sorry to each other. When every body’s calm, we make up to it by thinking of a compromise that will work for both of them.

Yes you can never avoid siblings fighting over little things, but you can minimize the fight. My kids fight but I believe that it was just petty fights. They get along really well amidst all that. When they are both not in fighting mood, it so nice to hear them converse and watch them play. They never get jealous with each other. They never get jealous with their youngest baby too, even though Mommy is giving Chico more attention. They seem to understand that they are individual with each special needs.

How do we do it?

Oh well, we employ FAVORITISM.

Yes we have a favorite. Silly? Oh no not. I tell you this is very effective way to ensure the kids that they are being loved equally.. HOW? well we have our favorite first born (or kuya on our language) and we have our favorite second baby (Dico in the Philippines) and we have our favorite youngest baby (or bunso on our language). You try it and tell me how it will affect the kids.

Or you have some advise regarding siblings rivalry? Share it with me 🙂

La Union Beach

This is my favorite shot.. Chico and Dylan are still both in their respective Mom’s tummy during this time 🙂

My hubby never fails to mention La Union as one of his favorite destination, actually, it is his only destination. He talks about it as if it is his sanctuary. Some of his happy memories are encrypted in the shore of Bauang, La Union. Last 2007, as a celebration of my three siblings birthdays, we decided to visit La Union. It is mere coincidence that the place we rented was just a walk away to the place my mom stayed when she was young. Although my mother talked about her childhood (and mostly sad)and mentions La Union, we never thought that this could be the same province she and my hubby talks about. We really have no idea, but she seems happy that she is going back there. So we had a convoy, us coming here in Pasig and them from Nueva Ecija. We agreed to meet on the place. The place we rented was located in the boundary of San Juan and Bacnotan (where Holcim factory is located). It was a long trip but it was worth it.

We stayed in Normi2’s Resort (they have a website before) and since it was off peak season, they gave us a discount for our stay. The resort is big and friendly, not posh, just laid back. It has a lot of accommodation. There’s a cottage for two, fan room(which faced the adult pool), then there is a building for the air conditoned rooms. There’s also an economy cottages that can house up to three person per room but I think the bathroom and comfort room is shared. Then the one we stayed in is a two room cottage with cooking facility. It is a big advantage that you get an accommodation that allows you to cook, saves a lot on food.

The resort has two swimming pools, one for kids and the other one is for adults. Some meters away is the shore of South China Sea.

The staffs were really nice and the resort was tidy.. and they have this cool electric fan made out of big native fans (dried leaves I think). The only thing that I did not like about the place was it was too big.. I mean the pools are not side by side. If you are to swim and you have kids, there is no way that you can both enjoy it. It is either you go swim with the kids on the baby pool or the kids don’t and you enjoy a splash. The pools per se, I have no complaints. The beach.. oh well do I really have the right to complain at nature? LOL

Since we were in that area, we manage to town hop. Our first stop was in Balaoan,where my first cousin lives. On the way there, we pass by a road that seems like a scene from one of our PS2 games. The road is windy and covered with trees and my the road is so good, so tire friendly.. no holes or bumps. The off to Banggar to check out some blankets. Then on the way back, instead of going again to the windy mountain road, we checked out Luna beach. According to my sister, Luan is known for its pebbles. Unfortunately we were not able to find a good shore to collect pebbles, but we manage to see some really huge pear shells! And though the road is not as green as on the other side, the trip is just as heavenly (minus the part that we were lost)

I forgot to mention that in San Juan, potteries are all over the road. They sell really cheap pots and vases and art works.. If only I still have some of my shot.. This was taken from my friendster account.. and was shot last March 2008 (oh yeah, we came back)

And this weekend, you know where we are heading, so I better start taking some free lessons on how to maximize my cam and bring home some really good pics for your eyes..

Wish me luck! (on the focusing on lessons part)LOL

oh.. San Juan is also a surfing paradise.. if only I am as adventorous as before.. sigh..

Baby Wearing IS Comfort and Convenience

I was on my third pregnancy when I discovered baby wearing or sling. Having two toddlers on hand and a soon to be another bundle, I was on the look for a very chic and convenient way to carry the three of them. I know I can’t use carriers as it would be hard (and uncomfortable) to use it for newborns. I was web hoping when I came across a site that offers sling. I was amazed how useful it can be and how easy it was to use. And I have seen that even newborns are safe on it. Being a geek on everything homemade or hand sewn, I made my own sling.

There were actually different kind of slings . There are those that they call ring sling (the one I am using) and then there were pouches and wraps. The one that suits me well was the ring sling. It is a garment with two rings (maybe nylon or iron, but wood in my case) attached on its one end.

I am very comfortable using my sling. I know a lot of people were amused and sometimes shocked to see me wearing my baby. I can’t explain to them how easy and convenient the sling to us. Some of those asked if my baby was comfortable in it. Some are rude enough to stare and when caught pretend they are not. I get a lot of weird look and sometimes hubby can’t tolerate that much. We do argue at times because of my sling (and I hate it when it happens). Now I give it to you ignorant people (and as if they can read my blog) some FAQ (I know you are itching to ask) about wearing my baby.

Is the baby comfortable?
When people ask me this question, I wan to throw them a weird look and give a sarcastic answer. If they would just stare more and care to look also on the baby, they will see how Chico is sleeping nicely inside it. If he is not, he should have shouted and caught more than their attention. Is it not obvious? Yes he is VERY comfortable in his sling.

Are you comfortable with it?
With two free hands? why not? Yes I am very comfortable with it. The weight of my baby does mot bother me at all. The best part is my both hands are free. The sling to me is like heaven sent. It’s usefulness to me were endless. You know I can cook with him on it. I can do the grocery grabbing anything with my two hands. I can do laundry while Chico is comfortably sleeping on it. I can even hang our clothes while Chico is breastfeeding inside it. See?

How do you wear it?
This will be difficult to answer without the use of a video but I would try my best to describe it as detailed as I can. As I have said earlier, the sling is a garment with two rings attached on its one end. You wrap the sling in your body. The end where it holds the rings should be over your shoulder. The garment in diagonal position at your back, and it hugs your other side. The ends meets up in front of you (somewhere in your breast) and you close it by inserting the other end on two rings, then inserting it again on the other ring (the one under). As you will see, there is an opening of the garment, you just pop in the baby there and there you go.

Where to buy it?
I have only seen a few sites (local) who sells sling. In multiply you can find some. Here are some of the sites that I found:

next9
indigobaby

You just check them out if you are on the looks for the chicest way to wear your baby.. Although mine is a homemade, I do recommend those sites for you because they really house the cutest designs I have seen.

I am not into attachment parenting (or maybe I am), or I am not familiar with it, but I use sling simply because it is very convenient for me and very comfortable for my baby. I really hope that somebody most parents will see the benefit of using one and so as I can walk without people looking at me as if I am a roving tourist attraction (and that goes with the leash too).