Marriage & Relationship Archives

On Relationship: Making Time For The Husband and Wife

More often than not, with the busy schedule and demands of being a parent, husband and wife tends to forget that there is a relationship between them other than being a parent to their kids.

May I ask you, when was the last time you go out with your partner? Or the last time you simply talk about things other than your kids? I have to admit, it took us a while before we realised that we really need some time together, alone. That we should enjoy each other’s company without the kids. For a big family like ours, having our alone time together can be very challenging. It can be quite difficult to leave the kids behind. And after years and years of sneaking, our kids finally understood that mommy and daddy needs to date. And now, I am sharing you some of the things we enjoy as a couple.

Drinking coffee together
Every morning (and sometimes in the afternoon and in the evening) we have a few minutes to ourselves to talk about mundane things. The kids know that it’s mommy and daddy’s coffee time so they seldom interrupt our small talks. We discuss what happened during the day, talk about some future plans or we just tease each other about anything.

Playing bingo
This is our guilty pleasure! We both love playing bingo. He loves playing because it’s a number game. I love playing because it reminds me so much of my childhood. When we have a chance, we go the nearest bingo centre and play an offline game, but there are also some great online versions of bingo at sites like Coral. These feature the fast gameplay that means you can win real money in a highly entertaining manner! We usually win but it really doesn’t matter to us. Having fun is much better than winning!

Street food date
Another activity we both enjoy together is eating street food. At least once a week, he’d go home early so we can go to our favorite street food vendor and have a feast on chicken intestines and pork barbecue.

Grocery shopping without the kids
Here’s one activity that sometimes I am guilty of doing with only the husband on my side. But grocery shopping with the husband is really fun! It’s more relaxing since we don’t have to look after the kids while picking the best product for our house. We also got to concentrate more on what need.

Driving around the city
And the most relaxing activity that we do together is drive around the city. Even with the worst traffic, everything seems so peaceful. And we have the liberty to talk about intimacy and make plans about it!

I have to admit that it’s really hard, especially on my case (which he corrected, the feeling of guilt is the same for both of us according to him) to leave the kids behind. So how do we manage not to feel guilty whenever we spend some time together?

For one, we try not to go to places that our family enjoys. One time, we made a mistake of eating on our favorite restaurant and we felt so guilty that the next day we brought the kids there! Lesson learned, try restaurants that are not kid friendly. We also make sure that we bring something for the kids when we got home and lastly, we try to make them understand that we, as their mom and dad, needs time to be alone to strengthen our relationship.

Our New Wedding Rings From Zoey.PH

We wanted to move the date 2 months later due to financial constraints but we have to get married before my tummy starts showing signs.. Signs that my mother would not like.. So it was set, March 8, 2003. We got the cheapest “formal” looking clothes we could buy and the cheapest wedding ring that could fit into our fingers. I did not even wore a make up and the bouquet I was holding was a makeshift one. We rode a tricycle on the way to our “venue”. If you could call it such. It was an open restaurant, and we only used half of it, while half was business as usual. We had audience! And the judge, we got him for a discount!

Life was not really easy back then.. So you can imagine that just after our first year anniversary, our wedding ring is already on its way to the pawnshop. Then it was gone, I’m sure it is still about the lack of money why we never bought our rings back.

12 years after… life’s not as difficult as it was but we’re raising 4 kids. Feeding them and sending them to school. We travel from to time and let the kids have fun. One thing though, we never really got the chance to replace our rings. When you have kids, most of the times you put your needs at the the bottom of the list. Fellow parents can relate for sure.

So when Zoey.ph asked me to check out their wedding rings, I said YES! YES! (mala proposal eksena.. sorry! my imagination went wild!)

We got the Frosted Silver Titanium Wedding Ring which is on sale right now at Zoey.ph. From ₱7,980.00, buy the wedding ring for only ₱3,999.00.

When the ring arrived, comes the big wedding ring question: Where to put the wedding ring? Left or Right?

A few readings suggest that the wedding ring should be on the ring finger of the the left hand. It was believed that on this finger, a vein runs that is connected to the heart. Vena Amoris, a Latin name which means vein of love.

But some readings also suggest that it should be on the right hand. This suggestion comes from a verse that says the right hand is the “good and blessed side”. Friends from instagram confirmed this:

Ours would be on the right hand.. because we’re Pinoy! And you know what it means when it comes to the comfort room (Bidet? What Bidet?).

Kidding aside, because we believe love is not about the heart but about the brain, we’re putting it on our hand.

When we started dating, the husband said that love is a decision. Being 18 and soo inlove, I always tell him that it’s not. Love is.. well.. love is a feeling. Or so I thought. After years of being together (and so many arguments) I finally understood what he means by that. So this time, I’m putting my wedding on my right because loving him is the best right decision I made.

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How To Keep Your Man Happy

Being married for 10 years and being with him for 13 years, I have learned to accept things that I cannot change and learned to deal with him. And yes, after 10 years (which he jokingly said, sampung taong pagtitiis! haha) he already knows how to deal with my temper, my OCD and had developed a huge amount of patience (nyahahaha). It was not as smooth sailing as this a few years back.. it was a rough journey but thank goodness we both hold on to each other.

In our 10 years of being married, I also learned when to shut up and how to be a wife while being a mother. Admit it moms, we have the tendency to take for granted our role as a wife as soon as we became a mom. Who’s to blame? those tiny hands and heartwarming giggles needs our time and affection more than the man of the house who is big enough to feed himself.. ummm quite right but does not work all the time.

Our husband needs us as much as our kids do.. and that goes from picking what shirt he would wear to picking up his shoes when he went home.. OK that’s an exaggeration (to some.. but normal here in my house LOL) but you get me, right?

My husband is a great provider, he works full time and gives us everything we need.. and he’s a very good spoiler! From toys to my whims (ehehe).. The only way I can thank him for being the best husband and daddy is to always make sure that he is happy.

And here are some ways that I do keep my man happy.

Feed him well. His mother and lola cooks very well and it was a challenge for me during our first few years of marriage. I know nothing in the kitchen department. I endure a lot of criticizing from him. He’d ask me how long I cooked the food, how high or how low the heat is, how I chopped the onions etc.. and when that’s how I learned how to cook. Now, even my friends, compliments my food, ayayay (buhatan ng bangko no hahaha). Feed him well by cooking his favorite dishes. Make sure that you know what kind of foods he prefers. Does he like eating breakfast? Does he like breads or pasta over rice (my husband is a rice lover. Does he likes coffee? My husband loves coffee and he usually ask for coffee 3 times every morning. And I always make sure that there’s a cup of coffee waiting for him when he wakes up. He loves eating Pinoy dishes like Kare-kare, mechado, beef stew and the likes so I learned how to prepare those dishes (well except for Mechado). And there were dishes that he likes but I am not fond of cooking.. but I still do cook those, just to make him happy.

Keep him healthy. Aside from feeding him well, I always make sure that he is healthy and have enough energy for the kids. And with four kids excitedly waiting for him, he really needs ENERGY. I rely with Enervon in keeping him healthy and energized as Enervon is a multivitamins that helps adults ensure optimum energy and increased body resistance against common sicknesses. Its combination of B-Complex Vitamins help optimize food into energy, while Vitamin C aids your body’s natural defense.

And he really needs to be healthy and be protected from sickness, josme, kumusta ang kabuhayan pag nagkasakit ang padre de pamilya?

Intimacy Level 100! (may exclamation point talaga no) I think this department is one of the most important in making your man happy. Be as naughty as he wants you to. Explore ladies.. read and research! Huwag ninyong ipagdamot ang katawan nyo sa asawa no.. Make time for him. Date him, go find a nice motel and spend the night with him. I admit it, it’s hard talaga, specially if you have kids.. eh lalo na kame, we have four! So just imagine.. sa gitna ng kasiyahan, may magigising, pag nakatulog na, magigising naman ang isa.. tapos iyong isa naman… tapos iyong isa pa.. by the time na napatulog na silang lahat, waley na.. wala ng gana..

Of course we find ways.. dapat creative! and also our intimacy does not ends from love making. We have ways to make each other feel special. We do “special talk” online or offline. And on my part, I always make sure that I am sexyyah! yihaaay!

Let him be a kid. And yes, after all those intimacy talks, husband is still a kid at heart. So I let him be one. Allowing him to buy his own toys and be childish from time to time. Trust me, if you allow him to buy his stuff, he’d allow you to buy your stuff too (shopping! shopping!)

Lastly, let him be the boss… uh let me rephrase that.. let him THINK he is the boss. Don’t argue with him, say yes if it is agreeable and say OK if it’s not agreeable to you. Men knows the difference between a yes and an OK hahaha

Do you have something to add? Share with us how you keep your man happy!